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  • michelle m. davis

Craving Certainty

I’ve always had an insatiable need to know — what’s planned for the day, what the weather will be like, and what I’m having for dinner. Yet, it’s more than the desire to be aware of mundane daily events. I want to be certain about the big stuff as well — who I truly am, my purpose, and the meaning of life.

Of course, I realize this thirst for knowing relates to a strong desire to control, something many of us struggle with. Most likely this is why I dislike the unknown — surprise parties, unexpected endings in books, unanticipated visitors, and sudden shifts in life. I admit I’m that woman who likes to be prepared and certain about whatever might happen next. The thought of finding myself in uncharted waters with no lifeboat nearby is quite unsettling.

My entire life I’ve tried to anticipate what is to come. As a child, I asked a lot of questions. And I found that having answers provided a sense of comfort. Then, as I grew older, I realized that being a planner helped to navigate the future. So, I made sure I had a jam-packed calendar, multiple “to do” lists, and countless long-term goals in order to craft the life I presumed I wanted.

But it didn’t stop with doing. No, I craved to better understand my environment, knowing what would appear at every turn on my path. I’d even create various scenarios, devising a solution for each possible outcome, what I’d do if x happens. But not to worry, I always had a plan for y and z — just to be sure.

Yet, the older I’ve gotten, the more I’ve realized that knowing what the future holds is not always best. Possessing a road map of what’s going to happen next may only provide a false sense of comfort. Sometimes remaining curious is more exciting. Plus, when we surrender and let go of the need to know, we invite in unimaginable possibilities. This is when the sky’s the limit for what may be.

Perhaps you also have memories of trying to control outcomes, manipulating situations so that you would get your desired results. When I think back to those times, I can’t say that my interference helped the situation. In fact, I may have made things worse, stifled what could be.

Whether we want to know about a current situation or crave a future event to end in a particular way, it may be wise to ask ourselves why we are trying to exert our influence over what has yet to be. Are we doing this because we are afraid? Is it meant to keep us safe? Or are we trying to keep things status quo, familiar?

It’s often recommended that when working with manifestations, we state our dreams but resist defining specific boundaries. After all, we can only imagine what we know or have experienced. What if we trusted that the Universe has our back? Then, could we relax a bit and allow what’s in store to occur?

It is when we — in our humanness — try to dictate outcomes, that we find ourselves disappointed. Thinking we know what is in our best interest often backfires because we limit what could be, preventing beautiful opportunities that exceed our mind’s grasp from presenting themselves.

Intellectually, this all makes sense. But my ego still struggles with wanting to know what’s ahead. Still, I try to be patient, have faith that what is in my best interest will happen, and trust that I will be prepared to handle whatever comes my way. It’s when we are able to adopt this approach that we release control and allow our path to unfold.

Funny, it always seems to come back to faith, trust, and letting go. But what makes this so damn hard? Why do we want to know what’s next?

I think we’re afraid of failing or making the wrong choice. Perhaps we tell ourselves that if we can predict the future, then we can figure out how to make everything work out.

I can only speak for myself, but I just want to get it right. Yet, being here in Earth School is not about being perfect or always choosing what’s best. We are born on this planet to experience life, learn from our decisions, and trust ourselves to take leaps of faith. When we focus on putting our ducks into perfect order, we short-change ourselves because we can miss those incredible moments when we have no idea what’s ahead yet feel fully alive.

While having all of the question marks answered in advance may sound like the preferred method, it limits our ability to expand and taste the sweetness in life that we’ve never before savored. Not knowing can most definitely be uncomfortable, even terrifying. But if we open our heart and trust that what is meant to be will occur, then we can bravely let go of our need to be certain about what’s next. This is how we live our greatest life.


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