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  • michelle m. davis

Waiting for the Cake

“Just because you turn up the heat in the oven doesn’t mean the cake will bake faster” ... Pastor Wintley Phipps

I love this! My entire life I’ve tried to rush things… make them happen before they were “cooked.” I almost went to first grade early, skipping kindergarten, but I fell asleep during my “interview” with the principal, and he deemed me “too young” to begin school full time. I’m sure that my childhood was peppered with similar situations.

For as long as I can remember, I’ve been impatient. It’s hard for me to wait. Maybe it’s because I’m excited for the outcome, or perhaps it’s due to the fact that we live in a society of instantaneous gratification… or I could just be an impatient person. Regardless, I’m trying to teach myself how to relax and enjoy the process instead of focusing so heavily on the outcome. At times I’m pretty successful, and I can bein the moment, experience in fullness all that is occurring. However, I must admit that I still struggle immensely.

Waiting for what you want to happen requires a calm discipline. But what might be even more difficult is to not attach an expected outcome when anticipating the result. This certainly adds a twist, challenging us even more when we’re not certain what will happen or when it will finally transpire. So, what if we aren’t sure how long the cake will take to bake AND we don’t know what kind of cake we’ll end up with? No that’s two big IFs! Do we have the inner strength to trust and accept that given time, what we end up with will be what we need (as opposed to want)?

Once again, control rears it’s ugly head, as this false sense tries to manipulate the outcome of our desires. Not only do we work to make things emerge on our timetable, but we also do our best to sculpt the final product. Sure, there are times when we know exactly what we need, and we have a game plan to ensure that we achieve this final outcome. But what if what we thought we wanted wasn’t as good as what could be? What if our attempt to make our chocolate cake bake faster was preempting us from receiving an incredibly delicious “slow baked” carrot cake? And, maybe chocolate doesn’t really agree with us, but since we’ve always eaten it, we can’t fathom anything else.

It’s quite natural to want to rush the flow and control how life proceeds. For many, this is a daily habit. Yet, if we could try to surrender every once in a while… maybe, just maybe we might find that we’re actually happier with the unexpected outcome that the Universe provides. I know, it’s incredibly challenging to alter ingrained behaviors. Still, it might be worth the effort.

Recently, I’ve been reaching out to publishers and agents regarding a book I wrote this past year. I’ve always heard that it’s extremely competitive, yet I had no idea how humbling the process is. I’ve been tempted to pull the plug and self-publish. And, while that might be what I ultimately do, for now, I’m just trying to allow things to unfold. If someone wants my book, great! But, if not, it’s okay. In fact, maybe it will never leave my laptop. Perhaps I have already received what I was meant to from merely writing it. I am trying to be patient and watch how this evolves.

The point is that I don’t know how things will end up… and I am working very hard to let the process occur, naturally, without choreographing every step. In no way does this mean giving up or no longer reaching out to publishers. I am still doing the work, but I am trying not to orchestrate the final outcome. Make sense?

Perhaps there are areas in your life where you are trying to mold what happens. I think that many of us do this with our kids. When they’re little, we work hard to ensure that they have “nice” friends. Then, as they grow older, we tend to focus on their hobbies… unconsciously crafting ways for them to succeed. This can continue into young adulthood… I know that I’ve been guilty of this, and my guess is that many moms have. But, allowing my sons to “bake” at their own pace is something that I’ve earnestly tried to do the past several years. Who knows what they will become or how long it will take them. But, I truly believe that what I thought they should be might not be what is best for them.

As our “cakes bake,” let’s make a pact to live life. What if we accepted that we can’t make certain things happen on our timeline? What if, instead, we enjoyed what is, without trying to make the unknown present itself in a particular fashion? I have total faith that ifwe have the discipline to allow lifeto happen, we will be blown away with the awesomeness that comes our way. The cakes that we’re ultimately served will surpass our wildest dreams!

Bon appetite!!!


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