Feeling "The Feels"

Have you ever walked into a room filled with people and suddenly felt nauseous, dizzy, or a heavy weight on your chest?

If so, chances are these weren’t your “feels.”  You most likely experienced an “outside” energy.

Sensing others’ emotions or an environmental frequency isn’t a new concept. People who do this are called empaths. They can pick up on the feelings of another or absorb the energy in a room, often confusing it with their own emotions. I believe many of us are empaths, though most aren’t aware of this ability.

For as long as I can remember, I’ve been sensitive to outside frequencies, able to feel others’ emotions as well as the energy lingering in a space. When I was younger, I didn’t understand why I experienced everything so strongly. Sometimes I’d have stomach aches. Other times I’d be sad for no reason. Most likely, these physical and emotional symptoms weren’t mine. They resulted from what was happening around me.

Of course, no one talked about empaths back then. Instead, I was told I was “sensitive,” making me believe there was something wrong with me.

Picking up on the unspoken or suppressed feelings of other people or a location is no doubt a gift and a curse. Yes, it allows a glimpse into better understanding those we care about as well as deciphering uncertain situations. But we must be careful—absorbing emotions that aren’t ours often tricks our brain into thinking these feelings belong to us when they don't.

Here’s a simple example of empathic feelings. When our sons were young and would tell me they felt sick, I’d usually feel a bit of whatever they had. At first, I thought I was crazy. It made no sense. I was healthy, yet their symptoms suddenly showed up in my body. I didn’t have what they had … it was merely me taking in their energy. Moms and dads frequently do this.

But this ability to feel didn’t start then. As a child I was extremely sensitive to the emotions of others. In fact, I spent half of second grade at home “sick” because my teacher yelled a lot. While she wasn’t upset with me, her loud and angry energy caused confusion, making me think I’d done something wrong. I didn’t just hear her when she would get angry, I embodied her emotions. But I couldn’t understand what I felt. And taking on her energy translated into me getting a belly ache. Yet, how could an eight-year-old ever figure this out?

The next time I recall having an empathic experience was when I was ten and in Mexico with my parents. We were at Teotihuacan, the Pyramid of the Sun, just outside of Mexico City. After climbing part way up the pyramid, I descended, only to faint when I got to the bottom. Everyone thought I was dehydrated. Yet, fifteen years later, after another visit to Teotihuacan, I fainted that evening at a restaurant. Coincidence? I think not. Those were the only two times in my life that I’ve ever passed out and the only two times I'd visited that location. Many rituals occurred at the Pyramid of the Sun, a sacred Aztec site. I suppose that's what I felt.

But there’s more.

Several years ago, we visited our son who was studying in Santiago. While there, we toured the Museum of Memory & Human Rights. This space honored the victims from Pinochet’s era, a very violent time in Chilean history. Within minutes of being inside the building, I quickly became nauseous. This continued, only amplifying in sensation. I finally turned to my husband and told him I needed to leave. As soon as I walked two blocks away from the museum, I felt perfectly normal. Again, it wasn’t a coincidence. There was energy from the pictures and artifacts that my body absorbed and made me feel sick.

While these are somewhat extreme examples, my body often “feels the feels” in everyday life. It’s become a joke in our family that I can only watch “happy TV.” Whenever a show becomes intense or violent, I must leave the room or cover my ears and shut my eyes because I begin to embody what’s happening on the screen. It’s just too much for me to handle.

I also seem to pick up energy when I’m in large spaces ripe with confusion and heightened emotions—airports, hospitals, shopping malls. I sense an unease, no doubt feeling the chaos and anxiety of others. Once I realized this pattern, it made sense why I disliked flying, shopping at malls, or visiting people in hospitals. Now I prepare myself for these situations, as well other times when I’ll be with big groups of people.

Perhaps you’re beginning to relate. Have you ever been on the phone with a friend who is going through something traumatic? After hanging up, you feel desolate, as though your world’s falling apart. But it isn’t. You’re just carrying the energetic threads from the conversation. A part of you opened to receive your friend’s frequency, and it stuck.

Or maybe you’ve been at someone’s house for dinner and sensed something was wrong. The couple, who act perfectly normal, could have been in an argument. Or there might be an issue going on with their children. Regardless, you felt the undeniable tension in the room, though no one addressed the topic.

While being empathic may seem beneficial, taking on another’s emotions is not. Yes, we may better “get” what someone’s going through, guiding us to offer compassion and kindness. But to function at our highest level and not feel drained by what’s not ours, it’s important to protect ourselves from absorbing the energy of others.

So, what do we do if we “feel the feels”? How do we manage energy that’s not ours?

First, it’s important to be present and aware. When a wave of emotion comes over us, ask if it makes sense. Does it feel familiar? Or has it come out of nowhere? Consider the surroundings. Could these sensations belong to others? Might something have happened in the space that we’re now picking up?

While I don’t believe there’s a full proof method to shield ourselves from "the feels," I’ve found several tools to help me keep my energy separate from others.

If I know I’m going to have a difficult conversation or spend time in a space that is highly charged, I’ll either wear or carry crystals to guard negative energy from entering my field. Black Tourmaline is an excellent choice. So are Obsidian and Hematite.

If crystals aren’t your thing, consider visualization techniques to help create a barrier, pushing any unwanted energy away. Envision cocooning yourself or zipping into a “onesie”—the sleepwear for toddlers. The idea behind this it that it separates our energy from the energy of others, keeping us safe. Sometimes I imagine being surrounded by a light, any color works, though I prefer purple. This forms a beautiful boundary, preventing outside energy from entering my space.

Grounding techniques, such as breathwork, can keep our energy protected. I’ll focus on functional breathing, making sure I’m using my diaphragm, not my chest, to slowly inhale then gently exhale. Mantas may also prove beneficial. Consider a short statement, such as “I care for others without absorbing their energy.” Silently repeat this to create a field of support.

Over time, I began to realize what energy was mine and what wasn’t. A sensation would appear, but instead of owning it, I knew it belonged to another or the environment I was in. And unlike processing our own emotions (naming, feeling, then releasing), with outside energy, we want to dismiss it immediately, preventing our body from absorbing it. One thing to note is that this energy isn’t necessarily bad … it’s just not ours. We have enough of our own to deal with. We certainly don’t need to process more.

Being an empath can be confusing, but the more grounded I am, the easier it is to identify an energy’s source. And it’s kinda nice to know that I’m not just sensitive. All those years my body was merely picking up outside static. There was nothing wrong with me … I just was “feeling the feels.”